Sibling Love: A Bond That Knows No Distance

For Christmas, Kat wanted to show her brother that, no matter how different they are, her love for him is as strong as can be. This post is her gift.

“There’s no other love like the love for a brother. There’s no other love like the love from a brother.”
~Terri Guillemets

When I was a little girl, I wanted a sister. She was supposed to be the same age as me and my best friend forever. Her name was supposed to be Zsuzsi. I dreamed of my sister, Zsuzsi, often.

But I guess you can’t always get what you want. Instead of a sister I got a little brother. Instead of a same-age best friend, I got a little boy who was 6 years younger than me. He cried through the night and I couldn’t sleep.

At one point, I wanted to exchange him.

But I loved him. I gave him my favorite toy—a Red Bear. That was probably the most selfless and loving act I have ever done for someone as it became his favorite toy and his best friend.

We didn’t get along for a long time. Apparently, I hid his dinosaurs when we were kids (though, as I recall, I was bullied into doing it by this big, mean girl in our neighborhood). We fought and yelled. He threw a battery at my forehead. He still thinks it was funny. I guess all siblings have stories like this.

We didn’t have the easiest childhood growing up in a dysfunctional and incredibly abusive household. When I was nearly 18, I left for the US with our mother and her new husband. He remained in Hungary with our father. While I was continued life in a dysfunctional household on a new continent before quickly leaving to be on my own and escape a “new family” that didn’t welcome me, my brother moved onto his teenage years under the very different, yet certainly dysfunctional, care of his father.

For some years, we didn’t even talk. I wrote him letters. He didn’t respond. Then we started speaking via online chat. When he turned 16, he sent some photos and I couldn’t recognize him. I got even more scared when I first heard his voice—it had changed into a man-voice.

He wasn’t a little boy anymore. I was scared. Who was this person? Did I still have a brother?

I went back for a visit. Though it was awkward at first, we started hanging out more. We grew closer and closer.

My brother and I are very different. He is quiet; I am a chatter-box. He keeps his emotions to himself; I wear mine on my sleeves. His life is always somewhat of a secret; mine is an open book. We both have our hurts and pains and problems, but we have dealt with them differently. Although I am the one who’s “into” holistic health, he has an easier time taking care of himself. We have different interests, different skills, different talents, and different dreams. We both want to be happy.

We both hate Christmas—likely because of our similar negative experiences. Yet, here I am, writing this piece as a Christmas gift.

Life is too short not to express our love. But it is difficult. In my culture we don’t say “I love you” at the end of each conversation like American families tend to.

My brother and I are different. We lived most of our lives on different continents. While I am here in Mexico, in the midst of my nomadic travels around the world, he is studying in China.

We have had every difficulty thrown in our way to make our lives more difficult. It wouldn’t be surprising if we had no relationship.

Yet we have the strongest bond ever. It is a bond that knows no distance, no time, and no boundaries.

My brother is the most important person in my life. I am so grateful for him. I am so proud of him. And, now, I know—it is okay that I never got that same-age sister, because I have the most amazing little brother.

I don’t say it enough. I may not say it ever. It may be weird to even say it, but—I love you, Andris. Now the whole world knows it. Thank you for being my brother.

For Christmas, Kat wanted to show her brother that, no matter how different they are, her love for him is as strong as can be. This post is her gift.

(Photos provided kindly by author)

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Kat Gal

Kat Gál is a Holistic Health & Happiness Coach guiding women to feel empowered to get out of the roller-coaster of chronic emotional and physical pain, and enter into a world of confidence, self-love, energy, happiness, health and freedom. She also specializes in healing from child abuse working with women who have survived the trauma of growing up in a dysfunctional family and the trauma of abuse experienced as a child or teen. She is the creator of the popular Your 21-Day Mind-Body-Soul Shake-Up! (w)holistic cleanse and an author of several ebooks, including 365 Days of Journaling. Kat invites you to join her Facebook group "You are enough! You deserve to be happy, healthy and loved”, a safe sanctuary for women on healing, sharing and living. You can follow her via her website on holistic health and happiness, by signing up to her newsletter and following her on Facebook.

3 Responses

  1. Claudia Vidal says:

    What a beautiful story Kat! I can so relate to you as I have three siblings in the Dominican Republic that I haven’t seen since 2007. The last time I saw them, they were 1,4 and 9. The oldest is now in college; my brother is a teenager, and the youngest is a pre-teen. We are going to reunite this summer and although I’m terrified of their reaction reading your story eased my worries. Thank you for sharing 🙂

  2. Susan Trierweiler says:

    This is wonderful. I am excited to start this new journey of life. I have alot of issues. I JUST WANT TO FEEL GREAT AND BE THE PERSON I KNOW I CAN BE..THANX

  3. This is so beautiful. Makes me feel like… “I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends. ~James Boswell

    So happy for you two (and a little jealous)! 🙂

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