Searching For a Way to Forgive You (Poem)
I try not to think of you
or the crack of a rib
or the split of flesh
under the knife
or how quickly
blood flows out
and away.
I try not to think of the way
you have always been older,
the way you still gather years—
the way I am left with
shadowed hallways
and echoes
and so many different ways
to say
dead.
My brain is a house
with all of the lights on;
my heart is locked doors.
I’ve learned to make
my voice a key,
a switch.
In the absence of
my father I am still
a girl disguised
as a woman.
I am still searching for
a way to forgive you
so I can taste a bit of
the peace I was promised.
Immensely beautiful.
A beautiful statement and a valuable search. Forgiveness may be a hard path but it’s the most rewarding journey we can take.
There is so much pain here, and so much hope, wrapped in a blanket of truth. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words, Janaya.
Thank you Julian.
As far as recovery goes I tend to look at Joyce Meyer’s courage, transformation and candour. She speaks about her father in her church meetings in front of thousands. I’m glad you’re putting your energies into writing. Best Wishes. Julian.