Searching For a Way to Forgive You (Poem)

Searching For a Way to Forgive You (Poem) - Janaya Martin

I try not to think of you
or the crack of a rib
or the split of flesh
under the knife
or how quickly
blood flows out
and away.

I try not to think of the way
you have always been older,
the way you still gather years—
the way I am left with
shadowed hallways
and echoes
and so many different ways
to say

My brain is a house
with all of the lights on;
my heart is locked doors.

I’ve learned to make
my voice a key,
a switch.

In the absence of
my father I am still
a girl disguised
as a woman.

I am still searching for
a way to forgive you
so I can taste a bit of
the peace I was promised.

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Janaya Martin

Janaya Martin is a poet and mother of three. Between poems, chasing children and amateur gardening, she works full-time at the University of Minnesota and hosts a monthly reading series, Writers Read, in NE Minneapolis. Tiptoe and Whisper (March 2016) is her first book. You can find her on her blog, Facebook, and Instagram.

5 Responses

  1. Shaleen says:

    Immensely beautiful.

  2. A beautiful statement and a valuable search. Forgiveness may be a hard path but it’s the most rewarding journey we can take.

  3. There is so much pain here, and so much hope, wrapped in a blanket of truth. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words, Janaya.

  4. Janaya Martin says:

    Thank you Julian.

  5. Julian horsfield says:

    As far as recovery goes I tend to look at Joyce Meyer’s courage, transformation and candour. She speaks about her father in her church meetings in front of thousands. I’m glad you’re putting your energies into writing. Best Wishes. Julian.

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