Longing (A Poem)

Almost a year has passed.
A year.

And I feel a longing.

A longing to go back.

To return to the woman with
the outstretched hand
wearing the bubble dress
who possessed the eyes
of an angel and held
that promise of peace.

Almost a year has passed.
a year.

And I can close my eyes
and see myself in time,
leading up to the end.

And then the beginning.

And still there is this longing.

Not that there is a reason for it.
Not that life back in this body
is bad, or sad, or un-contented.

But I have a remembering.
of silence
and nothingness
brighter
than when I look into the sun
without sunglasses.

Almost a year has passed.
A year.
Nothing has changed,
and everything has changed.

The world goes on
People move
People breakup
People die
People suffer
People create
People tear down
People smile
People become
People live again.

Almost a year has passed.
A year.

How did this happen.

I promised myself
I would pay more attention
I would savor every moment
I would be present and feel
EVERYTHING.

Almost a year has passed.
A year.
And life happens.

Life sweeps in and
blows you around
and takes your hand
and dances you in circles
and laughs
and leaves
and sachets onto another.

Almost a year has passed.
A year.

And life is sweet
And I am cherished
And I feel loved
And I embrace those around me
And I laugh
And I love
And I smile
And I connect
And I am happy

And I still
have this longing…

 

(Photo credit)